Ok so before Leo thinks I am in the US (oops! Too late!) and Dom write me off all together, I better post. Ihave been very busy lately but I have been very good at managing it. The End of the Street is getting managed in there too, even if things appear other wise.
About this post. I took my mother to Chets the other day (wait that was more than two weeks ago). She flew from Cancun by herself which I thinks is pretty brave. Going through Mexico by English only speaking self is quite a fet. I had car trouble the day before she left and because she had luggage and and has trouble with her hip I took the bus up to Chetumal, Mexico with her. It meant I had to miss a whole day of school rather then just a few hours. The trip was LONG! I don't know how my friends from Orange can just jump on the bus and come done to Cayo.
I mused on two things most of the trip. One was the fact tht I am getting responsible. Being responsible cost a lot and hurts sometimes. I was really hurt in my heart when I was in OW walking around Leo's park waiting for the bus to take off again. I almost cried like the spoiled baby I was when I saw his water tower, the clock down town. I thought about Tracy, when I saw the ladies in the park with their children. My heart jumped when I saw a hotel that looks like it might be Helwa's. I thought about how two years ago, if I was in Orange Walk or anywhere that friends of mine might be I would careless and stop in to seem them. I wold even make myself at home for a week! I have changed a lot. I don't so much that I used to. I am not scared of the person that I am becoming and most of the time I am thrilled that I am growing up finally, but while I was on that bus I was broken hearted. I was finally in OW and I couldn't stop in.
I got home at 9 am. I took a shower and went to bed. The next morning I got up, made my bed, ate breakfast and went to work. For the last two weeks I have been a big woman with a house adn three dogs. I have two vehicles to take care of (Mom's car and my scooter). I take care of the garden and water the flowers. Eat Mom's veggie and cook my own food. I am good at it so far. I miss the carefree days of Sixth Form when I could hang with my friends without regards to a clock but I am also glad those days are over. I miss my buddies and stuff but I am also glad I have a pay check. I am glad that I can help my mom, pay a tithe, be a pillar.
The next question is, how am I being a pillar to? A lot of people have asked me why I haven't been around... It makes me realize that I have much to do when time manage comes around. I think my friends are starting to question how much I care for them. I have been a very dedicated person. I used to be dedicated to my relationships but now they are getting crowded out. I am learning now that things grow at different rates. I can't invest in everything as much as I want, but I can work at things little at a time. Give a little here and a little there.
I want to write more about this but I have to ran.... things are screaming at me for attention....
Okay, I'm going to say it...this post makes me emotional. You were here?! You take care of the garden?! You eat your own veggies, alone?! Nostalgic :( Wish you the best, even if my face doesn't say it when we cross paths.
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