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28 November 2007

Pondering

Every year, for the past five years, I write a personal reflectional based on the year as it comes to an end. I find these reflections very helpful not only understand what sort of person I have grown into but it also helps me plan and make changes so I can be a stronger person. I can more easily see if I am measuring up once it is all written out. Because my time here at SHJC Library is almost over, and so will my consistent Internet access, I am writing the reflection early this year. This is not all of it.... but I hope you enjoy it.

First of all, this year is exactly what I heard it would be but nothing what I thought it would be. It is a year of change. Of course, I thought change had to do with finishing school and getting a job but it has been so much more. When I think of the who I was in December 2006 I am a stranger to her. I think, walk, and breathe differently. I am more mature, less winy, more proactive and responsible for my own actions (note I said MORE). I have clearer, redefined priorities. I have had many personal victories.

This year wanted to be a bitter year. One tragedies after the other has sought to overwhelm me. With the support of close friends and loved ones, and the wisdom of the Always Faithful Friend (Jesus) was I was able to mourn, then pick up the pieces, look up and focus on His goodness instead of obvious circumstances. Death of a loved one and deaths of friends. Loved ones getting sick. Loved ones losing jobs. Friends moving away. Friends moving on. Academic failure. Debt. Car trouble. Divorce. Broken agreements. All have caused storm after storm wanting to make me bitter. Instead, I have managed to be grateful the process and more confidant that my life isn't about me. I also learned it isn't even about the needs that I see, either.
In 2007 I have succeed to be the one major thing I wanted since I knew myself, even before I knew what it was. I am my Father's Daughter. I am a Princess of Zion. Now if I can only walk in that.

6 comments:

Leonardo Melendez said...

What a list! New tires are expensive.

So a year has passed with much learning and teaching. It's been a pleasure reading your posts Beth. Great to have interesting people like yourself share a bit about themselves.

Domanick Fabro said...

coodos to you for persevering over your trials and not succumbing to bitterness.

Zion? is that like you don't got to be dread to be rasta...

Tracy Tillett said...

Personal Reflections are good, I do them but most often they are personal; an year on paper, does tell a lot about how you have changed. Experiences are our own; they are almost never the way they say they are going to be. I too, can say that I've changed a lot in the past year, and I like the change. This is Tracy now!
Your stories always amaze me, what a life and yet you can still be this witty person. Admirable.

Beth said...

Leo: Hence the reason why I will be broke for the rest of the month. It is needed though. Life is a classroom.... I am still learning. One of my students wrote a sentence today for Vocabulary that "Ms. Beth is a forerunner". It was cute.

DOm... what can I say? how shall I explain? Not rasta though... that is something else.


Exactly Tracy. That is how I feel. Experience is our own. Testimonies are strengthening but there is nothing like getting your own personal lesson.

coolingstar9 said...

Beth,
Life is up and down, we go through the process and we need to be strogher whenever we face. Definitely you will be much more stronger, you do whatever you can to fullfill whatever dreams you have. I now can read your blogs more often and you are my new global friend from Mexico. I write about you on my blog on http://coolingstar9.wordpress.com
may all good things come to you. thanks for commenting on my blog- I bought a microfume pan for charity.

Beth said...

Thanks cool for the input