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26 May 2007

The Dark Side of Me

I have always wanted to say a speech at my graduation. Always. But I never had the opportunity to do so. Sad to say, but I am a preppy in that way.

When I graduated from Standard Six (8Th grade) I was second in my class, but I went to school that probably had a healthy view of it graduation and awards. I was given a certificate during the end of the year programme while the other classes got other awards. No speeches; nothing big.

In high school. Despite the fact I transferred schools (and a weird policy about transfer students on graduation days.... just roll your eyes and ask no questions), I had a teenage style of a midlife crisis and I barely managed to even pass the last semester (although I got 2ND in English). So nope... no speech during high school either.

For the last 18 months I have been secretly looking forward to saying a speech for my sixth form graduation. I even have a mental outline of what I would say. At the end of every semester, I would mock concern while asking all my peers about their grades ( like we all do), but I actually was in a cold sweat until I find out that I got A's and B+'s and my peers got B's and C's. This is ow I saw it: Sharee would probably be the valedictorian, because she maintains a 4.0 but already has a degree and her transferred credits are not so good. I wasn't even about to compete with Sharee. I thought that Andrea might be a little competition for the salutatorian, but, although she also has another degree, she has some low grades too. The rest of those in my programme did not worry me. I was so happy when I found out that the Dean decided to give us our own graduation since we are in the pilot programme for teacher's ed and we will be finishing until July, no May, like most students at the college. I almost started to write out my salutatory address.

This morning, when the realization came to me, I got weak in the knees. I almost vomited. My head felt heavy and my throat went dry. I will not say anything at the graduation because I will not graduate. I failed! Oi!

11 comments:

Leonardo Melendez said...

No way! You're kidding right? You know Elvin a.k.a 'Mayaaweez' got a 4.0. Funny thing. My head hurts. How could you not have known that you wouldn't graduate?

Beth said...

I just never thought about it. I never put the two together

Beth said...

Yes, I know Elvin got a 4.0... I saw his report card live. He worked hard for it and I am glad for him. I wanted to celebrate, but was broke so I took him to a wake instead.

The Queen said...

So since you didn't pass the student teaching, you don't graduate? I'm confused!

Everything has a reason why said...

WTF? beth how on earth didn't u pass?-there's no hope for the rest of us!Elvin got a 4.0? damn somebody anybody tell him congrats for me!

Beth said...

Yep Queen, I wo't be able to graduate until I redo and pass my student teaching. By then, I won't be able to say a speech because I had to redo a class. Bummer.

There is hope Juds.... Eddy passed it. Some people said some uncharitable things about biases, but I don't beleive them. I had my faults.

Beth said...

By the way, watch your mouth Juds....

Leonardo Melendez said...

You're a very tricky person. 4:3 on comments; more than half of them are yours! You really want to reach 15 don't you? 7 more to go.

Beth said...

Hehe, how else will I reach there?
Well, actually I dreamed that I had 15 post after a long weekend with no Internet access, and that I was surprised to find so many. I am not so surprised in this case. But I am still happy.
Only 6 more to go, regardless

Everything has a reason why said...

hey you scolded me about my language- thats a whole comment on itself! not fair!

Beth said...

I didn't scold you... just warned you. (it was also an after thought). I am not controlling but....

What is your major Juds? I thought you were in Enviroment Science, but it sounds like you are in Prim Ed like me? Am I assuming right?