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08 March 2009

Disenchanted...

I love my big brothers. They both were offered very little in life and they have made much for themselves. They live in different countries and have different lifestyles but are level headed young men, willing to sacrifice for their dreams and for their family. One of them is in northern California, working hard and going back to school after years of avoiding it. The other is a medical student in Guatemala.

I find it very special when they come home. I proud of both of them. When they come home to Belize they bring little treats, new food for thought and lots of hugs. They both have their own gifts and personalities. Sometimes I argue with them and I might even hurt their feelings because I don't share in ALL of their interest but I always appreciate it when they come home. It makes me feel sad when they leave. I feel listless and empty.

As my brothers leave off to their futures and new adventures, I stay at home. I enjoy teaching my little ones, driving my motorcycle with a plastic frame, living a humble life. I have basic needs met. People around me love me and I have challenges to meet. Someday when things are right I am going to leave home. I am going to shed my nice little job and sell my cycle. I am going to make some huge risk and I am going to overcome. Sometimes it will look like I lose but I will really win because my loses will not keep me down.

So while I feel sort of sad because the fun weekend is over, I am thoughtful. My brother's surprise trip home is done. I took him to the bus station at the border and he is on his way to Guatemala now, to his small apartment, his wife, his church, his studies and work, and his poetry. I feel sad because I miss him already but I am hopeful because someday it will be my turn....

And you will go with me.

10 comments:

Leonardo Melendez said...

Well written. Wish you the best, wherever your feet take you.

PoetGuy said...

Beth i think if any person would wish to stalk you, this blogspot would be the right place you know. U got all kinds of things bout ur personal life here, lol

Roy Rosado said...

nice Beth, can sort of relate to the feeling of everyone going somewhere and staying behind. But like you said someday. Hope when that time comes for you all is in order and u sell your cycle. jeje. Best wishes on that.

Reema said...

so sweet to see sibling love :) Best wishes for ur future.

Domanick Fabro said...

I think I saw you on the bus taking home, in full black you were.


I want to buy a plastic cycle myself!

Beth said...

Dom It was Wednesday! I was wearing black! See me next post! I am still writing it but it will fill the the blanks. It will be called "Buses, buddies and memories..." Bikes like mine are easy to get. Have Freeze set you up since that is his business nowadays.

Bret! Welcome man! I am glad you are in my blogsphere! You have a special place in my heart and here!

Thanks Reema, Leo, Roy and the rest for the encouragement. Nuff Love

Beth said...

Wait! DOm! I am officially "deh boks u eers kana" because you closed your account... I want access!

Domanick Fabro said...

er yeah ill open it up in a while...

Domanick Fabro said...

... and you the lamp up pan the next post!

Leonardo Melendez said...

Beth, are you in the states?