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02 January 2009

My Bed


Happy New Years everyone! I hope that the year 2009 started off good for you and that the rest of the year is bright and full of inner strength!


I have been out and about this holiday season. It has been very busy. I still have one more place to go during my vacation time, but I am not sure if I will make it. It should have been the first place for me to go when school closed for the holidays but my attention was stolen by surroundings. I have been busy with weddings, one more birth, camping with the Doc and his wife, cooking with my sister-in-law, taking the Doc (who's Belizean driver's license expired since going to Guate) around to see this one and that one, New Years Day I hitched a ride with friend and went down south to visit a friend that I haven't seen in a while. It was a good trip, it was heart wrenching for my own personal reasons but it was good. I have a level of clarify now in my heart. One thing that I learned is that I can't take other people's actions personal. I still have my ideals and hopes for my friend, but if they don't happen, I can't "beat up".


With all the activity that has been going on two things have happen. First the little store of money that I have been saving up has shrunk to a level that reminds me of the "chaya days" (the days in sixth form when finances were low). I promised myself that the "chaya days" won't be repeated, man, festivities and travelling are fun but expensive. Someday I will learn to manage money and I will be good at it. Oh, but I had fun and I built some good, priceless memories!
The second thing that happened was the sacrifice of my bed. Having the Doc and his wife home meant giving up my antique victorian style single bed for a week. Mom's sofa is nice for naps, but after a week of sleeping in it, I will be happy not to lay in that sofa for a while. When the Doc and his wife left I had the joy of my princess bed for a night (it was too short, really), then I jollied off down south and abandoned the joy of my sweet pillows and soft sheets and half slept in a strange bed. I had fun during the days but at the night I tossed and turned in bed. The last day of my trip my friend asked me if I was alright because I look really tired. I went home and the first thing I did find my little bed for a nap. Horror of Horrors! while gone my mother moved my room around! I was comfortable in my little bed that I pushed in the corner of my room behind my bookshelf. I liked snugging up to my sheets and many pillows between my books and my walls (sorry Danny, I haven't drawn anything on this wall yet), but now my bed in the middle of my room with nothing on the side. Ouch! I tired to rest but I kept having dreams that everyone was watching me. Today I might move my room back to how it was....


What does that tell of my sub-consciousness?

7 comments:

Leal said...

Well it might be that you are more comfortable on that corner since you have slept there for a long time.

You might get accustomed to the new setting if you continue sleeping there for sometime.

But my guess of your sub-conscious would be that you are afraid of being the center of attention.

Reema said...

Wish you a wonderful 2009!

Leonardo Melendez said...

You probably don't like to be "exhibitioned". I'd probably feel the same. I hate you mom!

Beth said...

I thought about that Leal, and I postponed moving the bed, but I will miss my corner....

Leo, dude, I thought it was physically inpossible to hate my mother...

How is the new year treating your Reema?

Hödekin said...

happy new year to you too!

carrie said...

your bed is lovely. My guess, you fear change on some level. Feel exposed. Happy new year. What does a bed mean to you? Safety? Comfort? I like sleeping on the couch.

Beth said...

Thanks Hoeklin.... Carrie, bed... I now I had prided myself in being able to sleep anywhere (bus, couch, floor, chairs, lumpy sponges you name it). I can also dream just about anywhere so for me... so my bed is just what it is... the only piece of furniture I own.

I still sleeping in corners though.