So I look at the temptation in the face and I wonder. Will I be like my mother? Will I repeat the cycle of allowing bad men ruin my life? It is not that he is anything like the men my mother chose in her life. Oh, he is vastly different because he is not a bad man. In fact he is very good, so good in fact, I am tempted to repeat my mother’s cycle just for him. You see the cycle is not about how bad the men are, or how much they ruin lives. The cycle is about compromising who I am and what I stand for to be with him. If I exchange my Big Dream for his Big Love, I am repeating the cycle. I am letting him ruin my life. He won’t mean to because he is not a bad man, but compromising who I am to be with him would inevitably ruin me.
So I have a theory. It is not men who make women’ lives miserable. It is the women themselves that do it. Sacrificing who they are on the altars of their man’s love, only leaves them with ashes for dreams and essence. When they do that, their men become hungry demigods that require more and more sacrifice, grossly warping the dreams of the sacrificer. As things warp the demigod becomes thirstier and requires more until the sacrifices go from dream and hopes to values and self worth. Things begin to spiral downward until the woman has nothing left. Then she is a dejected repressed human without any essence of life. Poor thing.
So I wonder.... do all bad men that ruin women’s lives start off as good men who were just overly celebrated? Are they mere victims of the idolatrous women that worship them?
How much should I give up for the man I love?