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19 January 2010

So I look at the temptation in the face and I wonder. Will I be like my mother? Will I repeat the cycle of allowing bad men ruin my life? It is not that he is anything like the men my mother chose in her life. Oh, he is vastly different because he is not a bad man. In fact he is very good, so good in fact, I am tempted to repeat my mother’s cycle just for him. You see the cycle is not about how bad the men are, or how much they ruin lives. The cycle is about compromising who I am and what I stand for to be with him. If I exchange my Big Dream for his Big Love, I am repeating the cycle. I am letting him ruin my life. He won’t mean to because he is not a bad man, but compromising who I am to be with him would inevitably ruin me.
So I have a theory. It is not men who make women’ lives miserable. It is the women themselves that do it. Sacrificing who they are on the altars of their man’s love, only leaves them with ashes for dreams and essence. When they do that, their men become hungry demigods that require more and more sacrifice, grossly warping the dreams of the sacrificer. As things warp the demigod becomes thirstier and requires more until the sacrifices go from dream and hopes to values and self worth. Things begin to spiral downward until the woman has nothing left. Then she is a dejected repressed human without any essence of life. Poor thing.
So I wonder.... do all bad men that ruin women’s lives start off as good men who were just overly celebrated? Are they mere victims of the idolatrous women that worship them?

How much should I give up for the man I love?

9 comments:

Domanick Fabro said...

You shouldn't have to give up anything especially not yourself to be with someone. Find someone you can be yourself with...

Beth said...

But really DOm is that possible? humans have to compromise in every relationship they are in. That is why the choices we make in regards to family, friends, boyfriends etc are so important. Who they are make us and who we are make them.

eileen said...

It is OK to compromise our wants, but not who we are, because God made us who we are. You are right that who we are affects who they become and vice versa. God's plan is that 2 together is better than 2 apart because they hold each other up and make each partner better by the encouragement and support the other gives. If each one serves the other in love, that is how it will be. Anything else is less than God's best plan for your life (and theirs).

Beth said...

Eileen, are you my Aunty Eileen? Thanks for your comment. It is most appreciated

Helbaby said...

Beth you are a riot. Your perspective is a perfect description of the result of choosing someone who is "unequally yolked" to you. Compromise is inevitable in any relationship but it shouldn't matter when you are both on the same page. When you both choose God first, give your love to each other 100% any self sacrificing is not much of a sacrifice then. All men are good to someone. Think about it. Pray about it. If all else fails call up a girlfriend and cry about it over a nice bowl of Haggen Daz. It won't solve anything but its a good release.

Beth said...

Thanks Helbaby, your comment really cheered me up.

In other news, I will be off for away. I am doing my Practicum Two again, and finishing off my teaching credentials. I am basically teaching for free for four months. Because money and time is tight as I set up the prefect classroom, my blogging will be postponed. As if I have been a faithful blogger anyways....

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Domanick Fabro said...

sorry i took so long but i agree with your friends.. you shouldn't have to compromise yourself.. like i said find someone you can be yourself with and yes its possible. You even sometimes find that person your willing to compromised what you want for without thinking twice because they are just that special.

Leonardo Melendez said...

Oooh the feelings of speaking about feelings! I miss this place :)

Beth you should stop being so defensive in your relationships unless it's an abusive one.
You may be a bit too conditioned to know when it is that you've found the right person. You need to take risks esp. if you believe there's potential, and please don't be too paranoid about it. Am sure there's some great reward at the end of the rainbow. If you find it, please let me know :s

Oh, just make sure you don't fall for some lazy twat that doesn't give balls about communication!

Now that that's out the way, go knit me a red and white garment with the following inscriptions:
"2 0 1 0 I S F O R E N G L A N D"