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22 February 2011

I know she meant to be concern but her words cut the wounds that she caused wide open again.

I was chatting with her and she asked me about school. I told her the general answer. I am still not sure if I can trust her. I no longer hold what she did against her, but trust is an entirely different thing. My life has moved on. She felt however, that she can speak into my life. She told me that she expects more from me, and that she wants me to get all A's this semester.

Basically, my process, my life and my efforts are not good enough for her. Why does it matter? She is no longer here, supporting me, encouraging me, being there for me. So how dare she ask as though it matters what she says. How dare she play like she has anything to do with it.

I fume because I am mad. I am hurt because of who she was. I am hurt because I let her pretend that everything is ok and as though it doesn't matter what she did. I am mad because I am not strong enough to tell her straight up that she hurt me and I no longer trust her. I am mad because we cannot work things out until I do.

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