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16 August 2011

Senior

Lonely.
That is how I meet this new school year. I am lonely. Of course I meet people and we talk. But there was no well wishing text yesterday morning from my good friends. The absence of things like that gives me a dull ache, reminding me of the broken circle.

I am also physically lonely. I am house-sitting for a family friend in the capital city. It really works out nice because I ride my bike to school rather then bus in from Santa Elena, but the house is empty. There is no one to come home to. The house is big so I play music to chase the ghost away. I have house-sat before, but never until now have I been scared to be a lone. Usually the loneliness is a welcomed break. I used to enjoy the solitude to think and pray, filling my time with reading and little chores. Now it is very different.

I'm lonely for my Beloved. I worked for his parents this summer and I saw him almost every day. I am suffering some serious withdrawal symptoms. I can't wait for this weekend until I can see him again. I am glad for a little distance, so he can get work done without me distracting him, and I am glad that I am going to school and accomplishing something before I begin The New Adventure. But today is Tuesday and I am already out of credit to text from my phone! Everything has a price. I am beginning to relate to The Song Of Solomon (Song of Songs).

Why am I so lonely?

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