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18 March 2007

Time to see the world

I wrote this poem. My writing mentor says it seems forced, but it is as natural as I can be. Here, World, you can have one of my poems... be kind to it. Let me know what you think, and how I can improve. You don't have to kind to me. I need to improve as a poem mother.

Edwin

11-January-2007


Seed fallen down,

Dead to the World

Planted in the Ground

In full Brightness you shine

No longer do you fight

'Though in your plantedness we mourn

We can look and have hope

News lives will be born.

We trust that you lived a sacrifice

Redeemed all your life

Now your reward, you realize

3 comments:

Leonardo Melendez said...

Stupendous!

Engaging start, some sorrow, and an ending we should all look forward to.

Roy Rosado said...

Pretty Deep. Why do you hold back.. Poems like these should be out there for everyone to read. What can i say you got talent and you just keeping it to yourself. hehehe. anyways...look forward to reading more.

Beth said...

Not everyone who reads this really understands it though... Sad. Put that is the risk I have to take.