As I child, in the mountains of California, I went by this name. I was never called my proper name. Garland was my late step-father's sir name, and for reasons I am not completely sure of, my brothers and I use to use his title as our own. They had wanted to change our names legally to Garland, but alas, he died and I remained legally an Andrus even though I didn't know how to spell it. Elizabeth has only been my name when I was in trouble; it usually was accompanied by Margaret.
The Sierra Nevada's In the winter
When my family moved to Belize, I was forced to use my proper sir name for immigration reasons. The government and social services didn't care if I felt like an alien with the weird name that everyone mispronounces and mistakes for the more common "Andrews" and a that name that doesn't feel like me. When I was twelve years old, I decided that when I grow up and become a writer I was going to abandon Andrus and re-become Beth Garland as sort of a pseudonym . Doing so, I reasoned would pay tribute to my dad and to the little girl I am.
The Hawsworth Bridge Between Santa Elena and her Twin Town, San Ignacio (aren't they a Saintly family?)
The other day I was thinking... Now that I am growing up should become Beth Garland again? If I do so for sentimental value, to pay tribute to the little girl I "am" and the man that fathered me, what about the other names I have used in the years and the other men who have been my fathers? For different occasions and times I have been Bet, Betsy,Bethie, Betty, Bethie Lou and a number of other nicknames. And then, Elmer Martinez and Javier Muñoz, although they never legally became a my fathers, they both, in their own special and powerful ways, have fathered me in some areas. I belong to the hills of Cayo as much as I do to the mountains of California, maybe even more. I can't be, Elizabeth Beth Betsy Bethie Betty Bethie Lou..... Margaret Garland Martinez Muñoz, can I? That would be worst the Baron Bliss' real name! So in tribute to all of the mes I have ever been and my dads' who have supported me in all phases of my life, I will be Elizabeth "Beth" Andrus. For now, anyway....
Me, Elizabeth Margaret Andrus, in neither place(... in serious thought)
7 comments:
hay beth, wow like wow hope u enjoyed your easter holiday. can u belive that i jsut remeber i had a blog lol. i just updated it lol. put in a lil thing here and dare. i lov your pic thats on teh sight, u look so yong and vibrant. hope to c u soon when school begins :)... take care handle
That's because I the pic is almost three years old (but don't tell anyone)! Is serious need to get a camera that works....
I hope your are a more faithful blogger after this!
That was a nice tribute... Whatever name you choose for yourself, it's your call...I like "Beth" simple sweet, strong and "Elizabeth" elegant, lady, pure...is a decision that not many people consider.... I recall wanting to change my first name to Nicole...again...another blond moment... only because my named seemed so weird...Helwa...
Hell-What?...hell... hmm just didn't sound right to me. Then I started to embrace the fact that my grandfather named me...that it does have a meaning and that if my aunt could have lived her life with it then why can't I... The ultimate turning point was when I discovered that my sister had decided to give her first born child my name...I couldn't believe it. Why, I wondered...I had so much heartache with this name...don't do it. in not so many words she said...don't hear to your name in english, listen to it in arabic, Beautiful, Sweet.... just like you, just like my baby. awwwww, touching I know...(sniffle sniffle) Lets not get into my last name, cause that in itself seemed like a curse to me...especially during the whole 911 thing..yikes.
I can't help but love the name "Beth", because that is my daugther's name. I do call her Elizabeth, from time to time because that is the name I gave her.
Your life sounds very interesting, Beth.
Rabbits eat lettuce.
Ah yes, you definitely need an updated picture. That's not the Beth I know.
they shouldn't eat too much though because if gives them the runs. Feed your rabbits a variety of greens, or rabbit chow.
I'm still waiting for a camera to come around so I can updates my pics. Now you know how badly I need you, Leo.
Helwa, I think your name is great. I looked it up (I have a name fetish if you hadn't realized) and it means "life". I think that is lovely. Where were up on 9-11, eh?
So much for a beautiful sounding name.... they use to call me McMelon-head! I was never able to protest it, so I learned to laugh it off. The joys of having adult half siblings.....
Post a Comment