Brave

"Being brave doesn't mean you don't have fears. It just means that you are stupid enough not to give into your fears."

~My Uncle Leon who wasn't really my uncle

"I don't want you to be helpless nor hapless"

~ My Dad, Grady, who wasn't really my Dad

There is something thrilling about driving a forklift. Driving it is like saying to my brothers, "you see, I am not really this dainty, weak young woman!" Or to my mother, "I am as adventures as you, as capable as you!" Or to my co-workers, "You think I'm amazing, you haven't seen anything yet!" Driving a forklift is fun because it is very three dimension. In a warehouse such as Universal Hardware's you have to be careful of things in front, on the side, and above you.

When driving a forklift sometimes you have to go up high to shelves to get items for customers. Some one, probably a man, was smart enough to put many often sought after items high on the shelves. Most of the times, the more popular the item, the heavier and higher it is.

I find it amazing that my brain does something to my body when I am at the highest shelf. No matter how high I am, the last shelf does tricks on me. My knees go weak, my breathe shallow, my head spins, my heart races and my blood sugar sinks. I am fine when I rummage through shelves at equal heights as long as they are not the top shelf. Since the warehouse has been added on to and one side of it has a higher ceiling, the shelves also go higher and I have tested this phenomenon and found it true. The top shelf is not for the faint at heart. It is not easily contended with. But I am brave at heart. I have and I will continue to beat the top shelf.

Quick! The clock is running!

I only have a limited time to write and so much to say! My summer job is for the most part fun, but it leads me to some frustrating times. It involves several miscellaneous jobs most of which keep my hands busy but my mind free to think. Now that is pretty hard for me because generally I want to write what I think. My work hours give limited computer access (I use the computer cafe) so I have limited time to write. Himmel, lots of time to think, limited time to write. Ouch!

In other news, the boys discussed in the last post have returned to the store. I think they have lost interest in me, thank God, but they have earned the judgmental nickname "Dumb and Dumber" by the cashier and myself (we are good friends.... I got the job because nepotism is alive and well). I know we should "chisme" about the customers, but they are not really customers. Their buddy, my coworker has developed a crush on me. He hasn't "stepped pon me" yet, but if and when he does, I have a strategy...

If I were to reveal the truth, I find it quite amusing. No, I am not the mean girl who lives to break hearts, but I think I could write a case study on this, and use it for further research...Mennonite boys strange creatures because they (he) appears to think it manly and attractive to be pushing and bossy. Far from the gentleman I dream of...

In other news, I went to a wedding this past weekend. It was lovely! My good sista-friend Gina married her dream boy. I went to the city (Belize City) for the wedding and spent time with her sisters who are also my friends. We had a very feminine time and it was fun! I said a speech to the bride and I also met the grooms father, who is the owner of the Amandala. He complemented me on my speech. I was speechless after that! The wedding was beautiful and I was happy to see one of my friends given to marriage.

Well, time is up! there is so much more to say but I have to go or pay more $! Stay posted as I will be back as soon as I can!

Boys...

The other day I was working, minding my own busy, cleaning up the staff area at my summer workplace. The staff rest area is right in front of a huge door because it is also the loading and unloading area for the warehouse. While I was sweeping, I was speaking to one of the warehouse guys that I work with. He was down because another guy had been teasing him about something.... Ironically the accused bully was outside by the loading ramp chatting with some buddies who don't work with us. I don't think that I ever say these guys before. Let me tell you., they were a sight.

The two visitors were a couple. I mean this because they seem to feed off of their own insecurities. They had the "brotherhood" thing going on, big chains, oversize Bob Marley t-shirts (what would Bob think about his fans?) , backwards caps and a single diamond stud in their right ears. These guys looked so much like average rebels it made me smile.

Alas! While I was gazing at them and smiling, the three of them looked up. They mistook my smile of muse for interest and smiled back. Silly boys, although they were probably in their mid-twenties, they starting acting like high school boys when they caught the eyes of a pretty girl. The truth is they probably have not been to high school and have not learned how not to get a girls attention in the safe fake environment that high school provides. They started doing anything to get my attention, whisper, laugh aloud, smile, punch each playfully, whistle at me.... you know the juvenile type of stuff. I figured I would make their day and I walked outside to get some water to rise out a disposable dish because I wasn't about to quit my chores because of them. One of them said I should save my "sweet" time and through the dish away. I told them that I care about the environment but they laughed. I knew they didn't understand. One of them, in an attempt to make me feel bad offered me a cigarette. Silly boys!

If I could I would have wore a shirt that read "I have been waiting all this time for a prince of a man.... Don't wast your time."

But then, I wondered.... is that a right attitude?

InterCultural

So the other day my gurls and I were shopping in Cayo. We walk into a shop and they are automatically drawn to the shoes. I, on the other hand, am drawn to the TV playing in the corner. We were in an small store ran by a man from India. Miscellaneous items are sold in small single room store right of the street by like like proprietors along the centre of Cayo . Z Tv is on and I am automatically intrigued. My friends think it is strange because I don't understand Hindi and this particular show doesn't have English subtitles. Why do I watch a show without the slightest idea of what is said? Why do I endlessly watch Z TV when I house-sit houses that have cable (which house would need house-sitting if it didn't have cable?). Why would I argue with classmates that people from India are not East Indians, but are Indians while "Indians" may be called West Indians?

The truth is there is something about the small mass of people in Belize that have come from India in recent years. During British colonization Indians came to Belize in mass as indentured servants, but this group of people don't captivate me as much as the recent Indian immigrants. I want to befriend them so much. I know that they are busy building new lives and making a match in a new nation but I just can't seem to cross the border into their lives. I will always be a customer to them... I wish I could become a friend to them....

I have so many questions to ask.