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15 October 2010

On the Road Again

" You are naive about a lot of things in life.... Someday you will change your mind and I hope you do not grow cynical about life in the process."

Once my favourite teacher old me that a long Sixth Form day ago. It was in my last semester English class when we were discussing a current event concerning family structures. I had refuted an idea by stating that I would like to have 5 children some day. One of my wise, older returning-to-school-to-save-my-job peers laughed and said something about good luck to that and how'll I would need a rich man for that. I made some blissful remark about how everything would be OK with love, hard work and sacrifice.....

Years later.... During I was chatting with my Sweet about what we would like in the future. We both agreed that only a couple of kids and lots of travelling would be a nice ideal. We didn't set any concrete plans but we both agreed that small is good. I was thinking about that just now. What happened to me? I'm a surrendering to the idea that life is hard???? What happened to the blissful, trusting me? I think I am still there, but what caused the change? Another thing.... if I can change my mind about something like this.... suppose I change my mind again, down the road when I am IN it????

So this it is. In honour of my ideal and the person I set out to become. Whatever happens, and however hard life really is, I will look up, trust God that everything will work out, and I will not lose my head..... I have changed. I will change. Process is about changing, but while I change I will make sure I tell myself, in whatever changes I make and whatever goals I make, I chose to be a hopeful person, I will not be naive but I will be trusting.

That is the person I chose to be.

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