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19 May 2007

I am still grateful

"It is not in our failing that the strength of our character is told, but it is shouted in how we rise", read Laura Friesen, my best friends little sister. She is getting ready to graduate from high school, and moving out of her boarding house. I was sitting on her bed, while she was going through the all the papers and things she collected in the last few years. She wrote the quote in her Chem notebook after her teacher recited it to the class during his routine 5 minute mediation.

How true the words of her chemistry teacher are. They nurses my bruised soul. I felt so heartbroken. I invested the last four months in an academic and professional endeavor only to fail. That is right, I failed my student-teaching experience.

Sigh. I am presently choosing not to be bitter. I can, and have, listed injustices and reasons why it was unfair for them to fail me. I mean, I have had so many people tell me that I am a good teacher. Why can't my supervisors see it?

I choose not the dwell on those though. I have so much to live for, that bitterness will easily steal. For starters. I have life. I am young and able, and I am smart. I do know that no disappointment happens without reason and God does have a plan and a purpose for my life. I just have to do some re-evaluation to figure it out. In the mean time, I am just glad that worst didn't happened. I am not sad that I am the only one to fail it from my class. I am happy for them. Success is sweet for them

Romans 8:28
I Thes 5: 18

5 comments:

Leonardo Melendez said...

I sympathize. It's always hard to lose. It's also very easy to make excuses. Learn to accept defeat without making excuses. Win or lose, you did participate. Participation is always a learning experience. You have been defeated! I your face, Beth. Muhahahahahaha! Wish you the best on your second attempt and in whatever you do ;)

Everything has a reason why said...

life can be like that beth.. but as i a say, everything has a reason for being. i a sure that God has another purpose-perhaps a better, stronger one- for you. you are special, and these little stones that seem to hinder us today, tomorrow they will be our stepping stones to achieve our true purpose. don't worry the sadness and pain will go away- it always does.- my sympathies.

Beth said...

@ Leo, of course you would say something like that. No have not been defeated. I would be defeat if I gave up. If I said "oh, well.... this sucks....forget it" then I would be defeated.

In your face....

EHARW thanx for the encouragement. I am looking forward to doing it again!

The Queen said...

I'm glad you're not bitter. It will only hurt you in the end to be that way, but I think those people who evaluated you must be crazy!

They are in desperate need of bilingual(Spanish/English) teachers in the United States. So many of the children I work with don't even speak a word of English. American Universities are not addressing this issue at all in their teacher training programs. Most bilingual teachers come from out of the country. The city where I live, Houston, has an alternative certification program. I take photos in the Houston Independent School District. It is a poorer part of town, but the younger children are very sweet and in need of good teachers.

Beth said...

I have often dreamt after working in a village school here, working with intercity kids somewhere in the US. I have heard that the English as a second language programmes in the USA are not that great....

That is something to look into.

Well, they may be crazy, but they have their Ph.D.'s (Who witha Ph.D. isn't silently wacked???) and what they say rolls. Bummer.