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27 May 2008

being misunderstood

I know I have discussed beauty more times than my reader would really care for, but this one is on the tip of my heart... and well, my blog is really about my journey..... so bear with me.

I was lately confronted by a concern and caring sista- friend for not caring about my self. She finds it odd that I am such a beautiful and outgoing woman and I don't wear a lot of make up and my clothes are "frumpy"and my shoes are old, weird, and ugly. She was honestly puzzled why I don't wear much jewelery, don't buy fancy face washes, and don't keep my nails neat. She was concerned because she thinks my attitude about this is careless, and I harm myself by neglecting myself. She thinks my attractive personality is harmed by my uncared for appearance.

While the confrontation hurt, I saw her heart. I know she was just concern about me. But the truth is, how do I deal with that? I like certain things about me because that is how I feel comfortable. She thinks comfort has nothing to do with it.

Funny because to me... comfort is attractive. People who are comfortable with who they are, how they feel, and how they look makes me admire them. I am attracted to guys with unkempt hair and old faded teeshirts, not that I don't like to dress up, because there are times that I do, but I think comfort is beautiful. I find it odd that she feels that being"all made up" is beautiful.

So now that she bore her heart to me, it is up to me to find the balance of it all.


carrie said...

that reminds me of a few things.
one is when i was in high school, i was very casual about my appearance in comparison with my FRIEND who seemed way overly obsessed and TO ME she could spend endless eternities on 'making herself up' and still look exactly the same. actually, i preferred her before she got all made up.
but anyway... then she turned into a totally awesome laid back surfer chick.... and was still amazingly gorgeous no matter what.

i tend to be very unconcerned about my appearance unless i run into a cute guy and i just got off work and look like hell! but, mostly, i don't care. i am capable of spending a lot of time trying to look nice... but mostly i see it as hiding. but... it's confusing. i like to look nice and i hate it when a guy will say to me that i don't need to wear make-up or all that stuff but then WHAT girls does he stare at when we go out? the ones who spent hours and hundreds of dollars on their appearance.

another issue this brings up is what do you do when your friend STINKS? and then i wonder, if they don't know they stink then do i stink too and nobody is telling me? hee ehehee

but i am learning at my job that we will all be OLD or dead sooner or later and by then it really doesn't matter much, but it still matters cuz it is sociable to try to look nice and to give and receive compliments.

Canopenner said...

I woul tell my friend to "hang it on her ear" If I was you.

But I think your perfect beth so dont change a thing.

Reema said...

Hey Beth thanks for visiting my blog n leaving ur comment. Nice to meet a fellow blogger who is a teacher too.

Beth said...

That is funny Carrie... but the only problem is, we aren't in high school anymore. I bore my friends criticism while I was in high school thinking that it would pass when we get to the real world. Although the methods to get me "fixed up" have changed the attitude hasn't.

Can, I can do that... she was trying to be sincere!

Reema welcome to my blogshpere! You have a beautiful blog and I hope to visit you more. What age do you teach? I teach standard 1, 2,and 3 (grade 3,4,5).

Everything has a reason why said...

bethie- yuu are beeutiufull.. no need to change your being..

Beth said...

Juds, your great!