Ok so before Leo thinks I am in the US (oops!  Too late!) and Dom write me off all together, I better post.  Ihave been very busy lately but I have been very good at managing it.  The End of the Street is getting managed in there too, even if things appear other wise. 
About this post.  I took my mother to Chets the other day (wait that was more than two weeks ago).  She flew from Cancun by herself which I thinks is pretty brave.  Going through Mexico by English only speaking self is quite a fet.  I had car trouble the day before she left and because she had luggage and and has trouble with her hip I took the bus up to Chetumal, Mexico with her.  It meant I had to miss a whole day of school rather then just a few hours.  The trip was LONG!  I don't know how my friends from Orange can just jump on the bus and come done to Cayo.
I mused on two things most of the trip.  One was the fact tht I am getting responsible.  Being responsible cost a lot and hurts sometimes.  I was really hurt in my heart when I was in OW walking around Leo's park waiting for the bus to take off again.  I almost cried like the spoiled baby I was when I saw his water tower, the clock down town.  I thought about Tracy, when I saw the ladies in the park with their children.  My heart jumped when I saw a hotel that looks like it might be Helwa's.   I thought about how two years ago, if I was in Orange Walk or anywhere that friends of mine might be I would careless and stop in to seem them.  I wold even make myself at home for a week!   I have changed a lot.  I don't so much that I used to.  I am not scared of the person that I am becoming and most of the time I am thrilled that I am growing up finally, but while I was on that bus I was broken hearted.  I was finally in OW and I couldn't stop in.
I got home at 9 am.  I took a shower and went to bed.  The next morning I got up, made my bed, ate breakfast and went to work.   For the last two weeks I have been a big woman with a house adn three dogs. I have two vehicles to take care of (Mom's car and my scooter). I take care of the garden and water the flowers.  Eat Mom's veggie and cook my own food.  I am good at it so far.  I miss the carefree days of Sixth Form when I could hang with my friends without regards to a clock but I am also glad those days are over.  I miss my buddies and stuff but I am also glad I have a pay check.  I am glad that I can help my mom, pay a tithe, be a pillar. 
The next question is, how am I being a pillar to?  A lot of people have asked me why I haven't been around... It makes me realize that I have much to do when time manage comes around.    I think my friends are starting to question how much I care for them.  I have been a very dedicated person. I used to be dedicated to my relationships but now they are getting crowded out.  I am learning now that things grow at different rates.  I can't invest in everything as much as I want, but I can work at things little at a time.  Give a little here and a little there.
I want to write more about this but I have to ran.... things are screaming at me for attention....
 
 
1 comment:
Okay, I'm going to say it...this post makes me emotional. You were here?! You take care of the garden?! You eat your own veggies, alone?! Nostalgic :( Wish you the best, even if my face doesn't say it when we cross paths.
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